How to have a one night stand
Aah, the one night stand. It can either be super hot or super awkward. But if you’re reading this article, then it’s probably your first time, and you’re ready to dip your toe in the waters of casual sex.
So, what exactly is a one night stand?A one night stand is basically where you meet someone, and have sex with them that night, or possibly during the day after an entertaining lunch encounter. There’s no lasting relationship before or after the encounter, and it’s usually all about physical gratification rather than making a connection or getting emotions involved. You may never even see the person again after that!
How to make it happenA good one night stand can be liberating. There can be a real thrill in getting down and dirty with a complete stranger, but also with an intimacy that you can’t find anywhere else. But let’s be frank, this is also sex with a complete stranger, and that might come with a few downsides: it can be awkward, regrettable or, perhaps possibly even worse, downright forgettable. And if it is your first time, then it can also be daunting. We’re sorry to say that there’s no rule book when it comes to partaking in a one night stand. But there are certain things to keep in mind. Let’s talk about them.
1. Go out preparedIf you’re heading out the door with a one night stand in mind, you need to be prepared if you end up somewhere other than home. Make sure you leave with spare underwear, your contact lens case, sunglasses, makeup wipes, hair ties, mints… anything you think you might need to make a graceful exit later in the evening, or the next morning. Also make sure your phone is fully charged, and that you have enough money to get home. To feel more comfortable, you could have a one night stand at your own home where you feel safest, although this could bring about the ‘when are they going to leave?!’ type situation, so think it through carefully before choosing your own address.
2. Practice safe sexSo, so important! Make sure you carry or have condoms handy to protect against unwanted pregnancies and STIs. Don’t ever be made to feel uncomfortable for wanting to use one or wanting your new partner to wear protection. And if they pull the old “I just want to be close to you” rubbish, then walk away and find yourself a better booty call.
3. Don’t drink or do drugsWhile most people think of a one night stand as something you do when you’re drunk off your head, the people who do this usually wake up regretting what they’ve done, or with no memory of the incident at all. Don’t drink alcohol or do any drugs if you’re going to sleep with a stranger. You want to be conscious and in control at all times, and things can get out of hand pretty quickly when your inhibitions are compromised.
4. CommunicateAlso super important. Make sure you both know each others intentions for the night. Be firm and clear about your own wishes and desires, and ask about theirs too to make sure you’re both on the same page. If you or they aren’t onboard, then reorientate or decline the encounter; it needs to be safe and enjoyable for both of you.
5. Get out of your headWe all have our insecurities, but don’t worry. Just as you don’t care about any of their ‘flaws’, your new potential partner doesn’t give a hoot about your cellulite or anything else you may be concerned about. The whole point of a one night stand is to enjoy yourself, and you’re never going to be able to relax if you’re thinking about how your bum looks the entire time. Just let go and have fun.
6. Have your boundaries and don’t cross themSet rules with yourself at the start of the night and don’t break them. These rules are your ‘no nos’ and what makes you uncomfortable. Think about where you draw the line. Is it wearing a condom? Is it staying out overnight or having someone sleep over? Is it doing certain things? Don’t put yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or have to compromise anything about yourself. And if you feel uneasy at any time, then just leave. Stay safe no matter what.
7. Try something newBe open to trying new things, as this is the perfect time to do it! You’re never going to see this person again so you might as well! Remember not to cross any of the personal boundaries that you set yourself earlier, but don’t be afraid of being completely honest with your new partner about what you want to try. And ask them what they want to do as well; you may discover something new about yourself! Even though it may seem like everyone is doing it, one night stands aren’t for everyone. But if you can get around the casual nature, you can walk away in the morning with some memorable experiences to look back on. Follow the above advice to make sure it’s safe and pleasurable for you both.
Need to work up some courage? Lady Victoria has had a few one night stands on her travels, with some names you might recognise, too! Fancy getting some ideas? Follow Lady Victoria on her adventures right here.