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Is the ‘rabbit’ just a Barbie sized blow up sex doll?

Hands up, you sex creep voyeurs! Who hasn’t sniggered at the sad man on a random documentary, who shyly brags about what a great time he has in bed with his blow-up dolls? Give it up now internet obsessives, you know who you are! The cheeky ones that spend hours searching for videos of pitiful dudes, confessing to a love of shagging car exhausts. You know, the saddos providing online entertainment that make us all normally feel a whole lot better about ourselves, in the sexual behavior department…

Never seen any of this kind of footage? Well, count yourself super lucky. I’m as open-minded as the next mother fucker but even I can’t see what the thrill is in having sex with large inanimate objects. Video footage of these kinds of interviews always weirdly linger around in your noodle.

But given the right platform wouldn’t one of these ‘weirdos’ with an Intimate Honey just clap back and say that they’re only a sex toy, not much different from a vibrator if you think about it? Obviously, only totally bigger.

So is anyone who has ever entertained, or been entertained, in the company of a dildo, just being a great big fat hypocrite if they laugh at these people? If you think about it, why is it ok to get pleasure from holding a small buzzing contraption in your hand, but it’s not the same if you climb on board your very own vibrating Silicon Wife?

Hang on. Am I saying my rabbit is just a small version of ‘Katie the blow-up sex doll’? I can’t even go there. At the moment. Can we look at it from another position?

Ok, what about ladies who orgasm in the gym? You know the ‘coregasm’ that everyone keeps banging on about lately? Haven’t you heard? Apparently, the Captains Chair offers the best results, an ab exercise where you engage with a chair with armrests, get yourself into a 90-degree angle, and work it, baby, until you see some good toning results as well as a few stars.

Some of my friends are addicted to this! And I don’t think I’ve ever found it that odd. What’s so different to sitting on the lap of a human-sized sexual toy and gravitating towards the big ‘O’? At least the guy with the rubber sex doll is normally doing it in private with no one else around. Ladies, who exercise …. are you the new dirty sex lurkers?

I’ve been researching while I’ve been writing guys, and I’m getting the impression that it’s no longer just the odd lonely bloke who gets down with a synthetic life-size figurine. AI technology is now being used to create sex robots for all sexual tastes that will speak in a language suitable for both genders, and for the bi, gay and straight.

Official scientific reports are detailing stats that show realistic love dolls are becoming more popular, two-thirds of men think they are up for grabs, and …. and I really wasn’t expecting this, one-third of women are now in favour of them. Did I miss something?

There are warnings from some corners that futuristic sex robots might throw up all kinds of sordid troubles, but if legislators can keep things ‘consenting adults only’ …. Well I don’t know, do you think there might be room for a life-size Duracell Bunny in my life after all?

Answers on a rude Instagram post, please.

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Welcome to LVH Magazine, the grown-up publication that covers fun conversations about erotica, sex and romance, and the occasional serious discussion on issues surrounding female empowerment. Our articles are contributed by a feisty vibrant team of writers from various walks of life, all hailing from different countries and cultures, and offering differing perspectives on life.

From their musings on ‘what women really want’ to some fierce opinions on female sexuality in film, the LVH writing collective are here to hopefully amuse and inspire readers of all ages, genders and sexual appetites.

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