LVH Ladies Room Week 6: Self admiration & doubts
Welcome to LVH Ladies Room. This is your space where you can ask for advice about sex and relationships from our expert - a woman whose idea of store cupboard essentials is lube and batteries. Whatever is on your mind – Ask LVH
I’m enjoying a new sexual relationship, but last night, during foreplay, my partner whispered in my ear that he enjoys being ‘rimmed’. I didn’t want to admit that I had no idea what he was talking about. Can you explain what it is? Katie, San Diego, USA
Heavens to Betsy, what a dirty dog! He wants you to lick his arsehole. I’m sure there are politer ways to explain rimming, but as my own dog is sitting beside me, engaged in her grooming, it was the first explanation that came to mind. Before you vomit at the very idea, I would like to advise you that it is supposedly a very pleasurable experience, and really quite a mainstream activity. I only hope his personal hygiene is exemplary before you dive between his butt cheeks.
One of my colleagues has called me ‘autosexual’. Should I be offended? Carly, Melbourne, Australia
Well, I can assure you that it doesn’t mean they think you’re a Ferrari. I have no idea why they should have chosen to label you thus, but perhaps when I tell you that it denotes a person who is sexually attracted to, and turned on by, themselves. Not to be confused with narcissism, although both involve self- admiration. There! Are you suitably offended, or ready to book a therapy session?
My husband and I have been together for 15 years, and we have two children and have a good relationship. However, he has never in all that time sexually satisfied me, in fact he has never really turned me on, although he’s perfectly happy with our sex life. Recently I met a man who has ignited strong feelings of lust and am considering having an affair. Am I justified in going ahead? anon
Hmmm, ha, hmmm, you’ve stayed for 15 years with someone who doesn’t even turn you on? Why? He’s happy, but you’re not, and for this you must take responsibility. If sexual satisfaction is your goal, then you might indeed find it in an affair. But be careful, the price may be very high. I suggest you use your feelings of lust for the other man to lubricate your imagination while you explore the pleasures of masturbation. You can satisfy yourself and indulge your husband, all the while keeping a good relationship intact.
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