Menu

Politics of pubes - The lady garden debate - part II

Dear Matthew, your lady garden debate needs some pruning

I found your recent blog on the body image politics of modern day pubic hair to be extremely entertaining. Whilst never heading down a hugely sexual thought process on your encounters with various vaginas around the world, it was hilarious to hear about your thoughts and adventures.

From one point of view, you could publish it as a biography and travel piece, each stage of your life clearly marked by the extent of topiary undertaken on each bush presented by your female companions. It was funny to read about you feeling ‘quite cosmopolitan’ about your time at university, spent with a girl who had adopted a rectangular ‘landing strip’.

Your politically minded American friend would have horrified Babs, an old colleague and friend of mine who would often take to the floor to espouse her views on the horror of women who leave their lady garden unattended. Babs is half Spanish and half Dutch, a lady who fully leans towards her Netherlands genes when it comes to her nether regions: good looking, well groomed, with a modern forward thinking approach to life. Sort of like Swedish furniture or Nordic cuisine.

When a mutual acquaintance of ours once informed her that she ‘needed to get to grips with her pubic hair as it was now heading down her thighs’ Babs was never able to remove the image from her mind. It seems that there is no place where hair is so stubbornly removed from than the imagination.

I would somewhat disagree with your friend whose thoughts so easily strayed to pubic hair whilst watching his young child being christened (will I ever fully understand men; I ask myself). I am not certain that there will ever be a generation of straight men, gay women and bisexuals who will ‘never see a full bush’. Unless of course a person limits their travels and sexual experiences to one corner of the world where they will never come back into fashion, either aesthetically or politically.

Yes, our generation has seen an evolution in the attitude and attention towards female grooming in the downstairs department. In my late teens you would have been cast out of social gatherings for turning up with hairy legs and armpits, but no one really had much of an opinion on what you should do with pubic hair. However, over the next decade us ladies were all heading off for painful waxing sessions that normally stayed just a half inch south of the bikini line.

Then the Brazilians, the Hollywoods and landing strips arrived. Those girls with an easy going relationship with their beautician and a desire for extra smoothness were happy to go legs akimbo on the waxing table. Yet these extensive manicures are not for everyone, and I have always been somewhat curious as to what each style brings to the party to be honest - other than a sense of security that you will look perfectly unhairy in underwear or on the beach.

There may be quite a few levels of unsexiness when encountering completely untended crotch hair, but the same could be said for those crotches who have also received too much pruning. A couple I know well, with an active and freewheeling sex life, embraced the full-on Hollywood with enthusiasm in the early days of their relationship. However, shortly afterwards my male friend informed me that he had started feeling rather uneasy about it all; why did he think it was a good idea that his girlfriend was looking like a prepubescent child? It had suddenly become a complete turn off. After all, nobody wants to date a real-life Barbie doll, if for no other reason than it invites unwanted comparisons to smooth, genital-less Ken.

One time during a minibreak in a Spanish villa with old school friends, Amanda, a very attractive blonde and somewhat of a naturist in outlook, walked through a room wearing only a t-shirt. It was hard not to miss her landing strip, which I can only describe as resembling the moustache that the leader of the Third Reich sported during the Second World War. I was alarmed to the point that for a moment I wondered if Amanda’s vagina might invade Poland. “It’s just horrid,” my other friend Phillipa said to me, nodding towards Amanda’s extremely trimmed front bottom. I might not have been the right audience, but I had to agree with her.

Within every different culture and country in this world, thoughts on how women should be looking after their pubic hair is always constantly changing. Fashion, trends, theories about healthcare and individual choice will always affect how we go about our beauty treatments. France was long known as the nation of hairy armpits, whilst the beautiful ladies of Brazil have been sporting the Brazilian treatment in parades for years. Personal grooming is always evolving.

So maybe your friend, father of the child at the church font, should warn his son that he should always expect the unexpected when it comes to what lies beneath a ladies under garments. And if that same blessed child turns out to be gay, let’s all pray that the world of manscaping is keeping up with ‘the retreat of the hairy snatch’.

Comments

Add Comment

About LVH

Welcome to LVH Magazine, the grown-up publication that covers fun conversations about erotica, sex and romance, and the occasional serious discussion on issues surrounding female empowerment. Our articles are contributed by a feisty vibrant team of writers from various walks of life, all hailing from different countries and cultures, and offering differing perspectives on life.

From their musings on ‘what women really want’ to some fierce opinions on female sexuality in film, the LVH writing collective are here to hopefully amuse and inspire readers of all ages, genders and sexual appetites.

Join in with the speculation and discourse and sign up for free today to access any premium content.