The LVH Guide to Erotica: Top 5 best erotic music videos
In a new series covering the very best of erotica, the writing team at LVH take a close look at literature, art, movies, music and entertainment technology, recommending the finest erotic works in each genre.
For the old school MTV crew, Prince and Madonna will no doubt always be the absolute royalty when it comes to erotic music videos. Those in this generation were the first to see their favourite artists add another dimension to their craft, by integrating songs with film imagery - and acts originating from that era, like ‘The Purple One’ and ‘The Queen of Pop’, have produced some of the most sensual music videos in history.
However, can older music lovers still argue with confidence that these two sexy stalwarts of pop reign supreme, in a music video world where Dua Lipa and Mabel now hang out?
There are an infinite number of contenders for the top five sexiest music videos of all time. And, let's face it, every member of the population is going to have a different list that appeals to their own taste in music, and which musician they fancy most. So to avoid too much squabbling, and to keep things fair, the LVH editorial team nominated five legendary pieces of erotica each, to put forward for the final top five.
The sexy music videos listed below garnered the most votes.
Spoiler alert: despite the presence of a number of oldtimers on the team, neither Prince nor Madonna made the cut. Probable response? Madge: Bitch I’m Madonna. Prince: Sign o’ the Times.
Chris Isaak: Wicked Game (1990)
Shot in black and white? Yes.
Filmed on a deserted windswept beach? Yes.
Atmospheric skies and waves lapping at the shore? Yes.
Chris Isaak looking sultry and ridiculously good looking in a vest? Yes.
Supermodel Helena Christensen almost completely naked and giving it full on come hither? Yes, yes, yes!
Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’ was an incredible soul searching ballad that fully deserved an accompanying music video featuring one of the world’s sexiest models and a huge dose of erotica. And yes, even in extremely large baggy white underpants, Ms. Christensen remained the epitome of an erotic human being, exuding mountains of smouldering passion.
George Michael - Outside (1998)
Who would have thought that a music video set mainly in a men’s public toilet, with dancers cavorting around urinals, would be packed with so much thrilling erotica? But George Michael’s hit ‘Outside’, a personal ode to his arrest whilst cottaging in a New York toilet, was supported by one incredibly sexy televisual. The short film is not only packed with humour, it’s also littered with erotic sexual encounters taking place in the outdoors.
Couples of all distinctions, in many states of undress, can be seen making out in various spaces in the open air, from a helipad in the sky, to the back of a van on a clifftop edge. Meanwhile, anyone who loves a uniform (and really who doesn’t?) can sit back and enjoy the NYPD in their full glory.
Beyoncé - Partition (2013)
Who knew (sarcasm drop) that Beyoncé would feature in several of our nominated sexy music videos? Unlike Madonna - who has her fair share of detractors who just wish she’d keep her nether regions tethered - it’s nigh on impossible to find someone who would rather Bey kept her clothes on. Beyoncé doesn’t even need her sexually aggressive alter ego Sasha Fierce to take to the stage to get our temperatures rising!
So the most voted for Beyoncé music video in the category of most erotic Beyoncé music videos, is… ‘Partition’!
This is a ‘bored housewife fantasy’ ready to seduce even the least bored of partners, that was inspired by a visit to the Parisian cabaret Crazy Horse, where Beyoncé and husband Jay-Z got engaged. “I thought it was the ultimate sexy show I’ve ever seen, and I was like, ‘I wish I was up there. I wish I could perform that for my man.’ So that’s what I did, for the video.” the lady herself has explained. And you did Bey, you really did.
Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell Williams and rapper T.I. - Blurred Lines (2013)
Ooh a controversial entry madam, and in more ways than just the debate around the lyrics of the song, which, in some quarters, were perceived as extremely misogynistic. Other views, including those from the female director and cast of the music video, were that although the song was full of innuendo, it shouldn’t be taken too seriously.
“The song is a summer song, it’s not supposed to be too deep,” stated Jessi M’Bengue, a gorgeous young model who starred in the once censored video, alongside the equally gorgeous Elle Evans and Emily Ratajkowski.
Aside from whether the trio enjoyed being told they were ‘the hottest bitch in this place’ (we should be so lucky) - our main bone of contention here is whether the video is actually erotic at all! But it appears that several voters from within the LVH writers team either have a penchant for young ladies in unusual see-through ‘over underwear’ garments, or they just liked T.I. grabbing his crotch.
Shakira feat. Rihanna - Can't Remember to Forget You (2014)
It could be argued that the video for Shakira’s hit ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’ is a music video of two parts. One highly erotic, the other not so much. But let us be clear; the part featuring both Shakira and Rihanna writhing around on a bed and along gilted hallways, includes enough erotica for anyone with a pulse.
Forget the scenes of Shakira playing various instruments by a swimming pool (or perhaps don’t if the thought of the Columbian goddess thrashing a drum set gets your rhythm going), and instead linger on two of the sexiests female artists in history whilst they wink, smoke cigars, grind against walls and caress each other in stilettos.
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