Welcome to LVH Ladies Room: sex and relationship advice!
Welcome to LVH Ladies Room. This is your space where you can ask for advice about sex and relationships from our expert - a woman whose idea of store cupboard essentials is lube and batteries. Whatever is on your mind – Ask LVH!
My husband wants us to go to a swingers’ party. The idea horrifies me, but I’m worried about what he might do if I don’t agree. What should I do? L.K. UK
My dear girl, it’s an invitation to a party, what’s not to like! Agree to go on condition he stumps up the cash for some sexy lingerie, and when choosing your outfit, pick something that is easily removed – a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress is always stylish. It’s a slight extravagance, but it can be worn to afternoon tea as well, so it’s a worthwhile investment. I believe that this type of occasion often brings couples closer together, lots of them in fact, in a perfectly civilised manner: think of it as simply a party with drinks, nibbles and sex. Give it a whirl girl. Your husband should be grateful for years to come: if he forgets, remind him that you took one, (maybe two even?), for the team.
How do I tell my boyfriend I want to be spanked? I’m afraid it might frighten him away. H.D. UK
Frightening the horse is never to be recommended, but unless he’s one of those chaps who won’t even swat a fly, I really doubt you’ll have a problem. If you feel he needs to be eased into it, I suggest dropping hints, such as purchasing an elegant wooden hairbrush and pointing out that apparently it’s the Rolls-Royce of spanking implements. Better still, Google ‘spanking videos’ and allow him to catch you in the act of watching them. Surely, he’ll have to spank you for being such a naughty girl? Problem solved, n’est-ce pas?
What advice would you give to a couple thinking about having a polyamorous relationship? Asking for a friend. S.M. USA
A poly-what relationship? I have heard the term, but prefer to stick with ménage à trois. So much more romantic sounding, don’t you think? Having a large house – one with East and West wings is ideal -- really helps if they are planning to live together, otherwise getting on each other’s nerves might be an issue. I mean, that can be bad enough when it’s just the two of you. The other important factor is the selection of the third member. Maintaining a balanced dynamic between three people is like walking a tightrope, so there should always be a safety net of some sort, i.e. an escape route. There are, I’m sure, benefits to this type of relationship, but I’d suggest you tell your friend that this kind of set-up is best left to French intellectuals, bearded hipsters and the like.
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